Do you want to know something I am really bad at? Being patient. In all seriousness, I am so NOT good at being patient.
You see, I used to think this was one of my best qualities. That is, until I realized that I was good at being patient when I knew things were going to workout. I was good at waiting for things to click into place as long as I knew that everything was going as planned, the pieces were in the right position and I felt like I was still in control.
Well, news flash to me, when I have to wait for the chips to fall as they may and I have no control over where they land, I am sooo not a patient person. This is the thing about being patient: I hate feeling as though I am being stagnant. I hate the feeling of going no where at all more than I hate the feeling of going backwards. At least in one, I am still moving somewhere!
I was having a day when I really needed to surrender my thoughts to Jesus and stop trying to be in control. Imagine that (Why are we such control freaks?!) So, I closed my eyes and just kind of sat there.
This is how my conversation went…
“Hey God. I’m so frustrated. You tell me to be candid and I guess since you can see my thoughts anyway, hiding them from you makes absolutely no sense. But I am feeling unsure about a few areas in my life and I have tried my best to fix them….Why isn’t it working?….I am kinda feeling like you’re maybe wanting me to go another way. Is that right? I want to be patient but I am struggling with doing that right now.”
As clear as day, He challenged me in my own prayer. “Are you really trying to be patient, Cleere? Answer this one question: Do you trust me with this?”
Yep, it was Him. So I answered, “Yeah, I am trying to. I think I the more time that goes by, the more I wonder whether I am making the right decision yet I haven’t felt a nudge to go in another way. I want to serve you but I don’t know where I will be next.”
And He nudged me, quietly asking me back: “Why can’t You serve me while you wait?”
There it was. The answer I needed, more abruptly said to me than I can really express into words. That was the remedy.
Why was I waiting to serve the Lord when the answer to my prayer arrived? Or when the next step in my life became clear? Why wasn’t I doing it NOW? Wasn’t there people around who needed to be fed and encouraged? Wasn’t there ways I could nourish my soul as I prepared for the next step in my journey?
Yes, to all of those questions: YES!!! The second I became emotionally raw and intimate with God and expected Him to 110% answer my question as though I could physically see Him right in front of me, He showed up, like He promises us every single day of our lives.
So I want to encourage you, whether you are in the fresh steps of a new phase, on the back end of a closing chapter or in the midst of waves and wondering which one will be your next ride to shore, SERVE. The best part about being on a journey with Christ is that you never have to remain stagnant. He is a living and moving forward kind of God!
Seek the Lord where you are. Yearn for Him where you are. Listen to Him where you are. Thank Him for where you are. Be assured that you are never without purpose anywhere that you go!
Be patient. The time will come. But do not think for a second that the Lord doesn’t work “in the meantime.”
Get raw with God. Be honest with yourself. Are you allowing yourself to settle into that comfy seat and remain stagnant when you can serve as you wait?
….Don’t miss out. You have no idea which wave might roll by that could be the trip of a LIFETIME 🙂