So today was awesome. Why you might ask? Because I felt so incredibly useful! Sounds simple when I write it down or say it out loud but the reality of that fact is that it’s hard to feel useful sometimes. I just started a brand new internship and today was my second day on the job. I have been unsure of what to expect and if my skill set would be adequate for my assignments I would be given. Today, I had the chance to plan an annual fundraiser, or being what will be a long process, and I knew I was planning something that so many people would be marking on their calendar today and looking forward to all spring.
i realized why I loved today so much: Because I felt useful. Purposeful. Intentional. Helpful. And part of something bigger. I knew that the fruit of my labor would soon be something that a large number of people would get to enjoy and THAT made me happy. This revelation also made me realize something I have been praying about a lot recently. I know God does not get tired of us praying for the same thing, no matter how trivial, but I think I have made a close call with this particular prayer request. I think tonight might be my 600th time I have asked the Lord about what He was leading me to do. When I mentioned this to my father, he said, “Honey, you always tell me not to worry. I don’t understand why you are. Trust the Big man.” And the thing is, I do. I do trust Him but I was humbled very quickly by my lack of patience. My preferable timing to find out my future plans would be now. But that is simply not going to be the case. I do not doubt that the Lord will give me a firm place to stand when I graduate but I do often wish I knew where that place was or what I would be doing exactly. But throughout today’s work assignment, I realized I want to work for an organization, either through a sports company or simply a non-profit organization, that supports the works of children who are either ill, poor, malnourished or without other support. I realized that I wanted to be part of something much, much bigger than myself. I want to help orphans find a home because when I do that, I myself feel at home.
Granted, you might wonder how planning an annual fundraiser for a 500 member organization of economic development would teach me this. I wonder too. Until I realized where the revelation came from: my sweet Heavenly father. He showed me in a way that cleared my focus and quieted all the white noise. As I sit at my desk and look in my planner for different places I am writing down to send my resume to in these next few weeks, my ipod (which our workplace kindly allows us to listen to while doing work), the song “Waiting for Tomorrow” comes on by Mandisa. I can feel the chills going down my body and the tears streaming from my face as the words rang in my ears, “Can’t spend my whole life wastin’, everything I know I’ve been given, ’cause you’ve made for so much more than sittin’ on the side lines….Everyday’s a day to start over so why am I waiting for tomorrow?” And so in that very moment, I decided, I’m no longer waiting for tomorrow.
Song of the Day: “Waiting for Tomorrow”, by Mandisa. Have you heard? Today is the new tomorrow! Don’t wait to start. Not one more second. Go!